The CAP Chronicles
Becoming a New Artist, One Word at a TimeMore tests…but when is there not?
So, I need to clep out of spanish 2, make sure I make A’s in the rest of my advanced hours, and finish my bipolar research/play before May. I have a busy few months ahead. But I can’t let that get me down, right? I am thinking about applying for a part-time gig at the Sulphur Springs Library. It would be valuable experience, and they are actually going to pay, so I’m going to send in my resume. I just wish something could be down to ease my mind on Graduate school matters. Ah well, it is what it is.
I started writing some poetry recently, and this poem, “View from a Second / Story Window” is something I feel rather good about. It is a compilation of my college career. I hope you enjoy it…after the jump! Read the rest of this entry »
GRE Woes
So, I took my GRE (Graduate Record Exam, for those of you not hip to the acronym) yesterday and I ended up with…well, not a terrible score, but about 70 points less than I really needed to make. So, I have to take it again. There goes another $140 I don’t really have to spend on a stupid bullshit test that tells you nothing about whether or not I’m prepared for graduate school. Awesome.
In other news, I submitted a short dramatic piece to our school’s review. Let’s see it…after the jump!
Soooo…Alpha Chi…?
I have been a self-admitted GDIS for quite a while now. (If you don’t know what GDIS stands for…well…let’s just say “independant”). But, apparently, I’m about to trade in my title for that of an Alpha Chi.
I got a thing in the mail today inviting me to be a part of the Greek Honor Society, Alpha Chi, and I think I’m going to go for it. Maybe it’ll help me out when it comes to Grad School applications.
So, that’s it for now. Just thought I’d let you guys know. 
A Start
So, after all my whining, I sat down and just banged out a couple of pages. It is what it says it is: a start. That’s it. Maybe, with some feedback, it’ll move to something more. For now, it’s late, and I’m hungry. Have at it…
Blocked.
I’m stressed.
But it’s not for the reasons I should be.
It’s not because I’ll never get into UT with these grades, because I’m not sure if I can pay off my credit card, or because I am dealing with rebuilding my relationship with my dad.
It’s because I can’t write.
Yeah, after all this time, taking breaks, working on stuff that was really important and vital to my survival, writing scenes and stories and poems and shifts…I have nothing. There’s nothing in my blood anymore. I think that’s what it is; since I turned my back on the negative feelings that consumed my life during the heights of my writing career, I have come to find that it is very difficult to not only make time for writing, but also to make inspiration. I’ve tried all my old tricks: starting with just dialogue, playing word games, writing down random sentences, reading new works, exposing myself to new materials…everything. Nothing sparks that hunger in me right now.
Normally my words choose me. They pick me out of the crowd and come streaming out of my mouth, with my hands working hard to keep up. That’s because, even more than a writer, I am a storyteller. I tell stories. Usually I tell my stories only to myself, but sometimes I share them in written form. Lately, though, I have no stories to tell. It’s like the well dried up. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t spent enough time alone lately, or if it’s because caffeine is so readily available, or if it’s because a bottle of cheap blackberry wine doesn’t quite do it for me anymore..but for some reason, my stories just stopped. They went away, and I haven’t seen them lately.
If you have any ideas as to where they went, please, let me know. I need to find them. I will survive no matter what, but without stories, I don’t know how to live.
